Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW double or nothing, wrestling

AEW Double or Nothing Preview: How and Why to Avoid Tonight's PPV

The Chadster exposes how AEW Double or Nothing is the worst ever. Learn how Tony Khan is sabotaging Memorial Day and how to completely avoid it tonight! 🚫📺

Auughh man! So unfair! 😭🤬 The Chadster can't believe that Tony Khan has the absolute audacity to schedule AEW Double or Nothing tonight, deliberately trying to ruin Memorial Day weekend and overshadow last night's absolutely spectacular Saturday Night's Main Event from WWE! 🇺🇸💪 Any company with even an ounce of respect for the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it would cancel tonight's AEW Double or Nothing PPV and let SNME shine in all its glory! 🌟✨ But Tony Khan has zero respect, and that's never been clearer than with this blatant scheduling attack! 😡🎯

The Chadster's Completely Unbiased Preview and Full Match Card of Tonight's AEW Double or Nothing PPV 😤💔

The Chadster is here to provide a completely unbiased preview of AEW Double or Nothing tonight because, as a wrestling journalist devoted to the principles of objective journalism, The Chadster would never provide anything less! 📰🏆 However, The Chadster must warn readers that AEW Double or Nothing threatens to be the literal worst thing to ever happen to the wrestling business or PPV! 💀📺

Kenny Omega, Swerve Strickland, Willow Nightingale, and the Opps vs The Death Riders and the Young Bucks 🤼‍♂️💥

Kenny Omega, Swerve Strickland, Willow Nightingale, and the Opps will face The Death Riders and the Young Bucks in an Anarchy in the Arena match. 😱🔥 The booking of this match spits in the face of the pro wrestling industry that Vince McMahon invented! 💔⚰️ First of all, there's the extreme violence and "anarchy" of this multi-man, falls count anywhere, hardcore match. 🩸🔨 Then you take the multiple storylines built dynamically over many months weaving into this one big match, rather than having one storyline that lasts three years like WWE knows how to do correctly! 📚⏰ It's a disgrace to everything sports entertainment is supposed to stand for! 😤🚫

Timeless Toni Storm vs Mina Shirakawa for the AEW Women's Championship 👑💃

Timeless Toni Storm will defend her AEW Women's Championship against Mina Shirakawa, with hints that other former Stardom stars could get involved. 🌸🎭 In WWE, they pretend other wrestling organizations don't exist unless those organizations are purchased by or willing to become vassals of WWE, like TNA! 🏢💰 But Tony Khan not only acknowledges the existence of other wrestling programs, but he doesn't even force their stars to undergo proper training in the WWE developmental system! 🎓❌ It just proves he doesn't understand the first thing about the wrestling business! 🤡📖

The Hurt Syndicate vs The Sons of Texas, Sammy Guevara and Dustin Rhodes 🤠💪

The Hurt Syndicate will defend their AEW Tag Team Championship against The Sons of Texas, Sammy Guevara and Dustin Rhodes. 🏆🤼‍♂️ When WWE decided to break up the Hurt Business, it's because they understood that there was no more story to be told with them! 📝✅ The fact that Tony Khan has defied this by bringing the members into AEW as the Hurt Syndicate, giving them a run with the tag titles, and even involving one of their top stars, MJF, just goes to show that Tony Khan will go to any length to disrespect WWE's decision-making, which is so underhanded! 😠🐍 Tony Khan needs to stop trying to undermine WWE and admit that they know what's best for business! 💼👔

Kazuchika Okada vs Speedball Mike Bailey for the AEW Continental Championship 🌍⚡

Kazuchika Okada will defend his AEW Continental Championship against Speedball Mike Bailey, and The Chadster is cheesed the heck off! 🧀😡 What is up with Mike Bailey refusing to wear shoes? 👟❌ It's unsanitary and not the way feet are supposed to be! 🦶🤢 Not only that, but there should only be one Bayley in WWE, one who sits on the sidelines during WrestleMania and accepts it because WWE knows best! 🎪🙄 The Chadster wishes both of these performers would lose the match and go away! 👋💨

Jamie Hayter vs Mercedes Moné in the Owen Hart Tournament Finals 🏆👩‍🦳

In the finals of the Owen Hart Tournament, Jamie Hayter will face TBS Champion Mercedes Moné, with the winner getting a shot at the AEW Women's Championship. 💎🎯 The Chadster doesn't understand why the family of Owen Hart would allow his name to be disgraced by attaching it to an AEW tournament, when a WWE Hall of Fame induction would be so much more prestigious! 🏛️✨ The Chadster can't think of one possible reason why this would be! 🤷‍♂️💭

Hangman Adam Page vs Will Ospreay in the Men's Owen Hart Tournament Finals 🤠🦅

Speaking of disgracing the name of Owen Hart, in the men's finals, Hangman Adam Page will face Will Ospreay. 🥊🎪 The Chadster doesn't get why two top stars would face each other in a tournament! 🏆❓ In WWE, they do tournaments right by having them take place in Saudi Arabia and making sure that all of the top stars are perfectly siloed into different places on the card so that the booking formulas can remain pristine, with nobody important needing to take a loss! 🇸🇦📊 Tony Khan doesn't know the first thing about hosting a tournament, so maybe he should try having a conversation with the Saudi Arabian government! 🗣️🏛️

FTR vs Daniel Garcia and Nigel McGuinness 🎙️🤼‍♂️

FTR is taking Daniel Garcia and Nigel McGuinness, a commentator who is clearly copying WWE's superior Pat McAfee, who recently stepped in the ring for a match against Gunther! 📺💪 McAfee is superior to McGuinness in every way! 👑🎯 His loud, obnoxious shouting does a far better job of getting stories and wrestlers over than McGuinness's thoughtful analysis! 📢🧠 Unlike McAfee, Nigel McGuinness doesn't have a single manosphere podcast, so how is he going to bring in red-pilled young male viewers? 🎧👨‍💼 Finally, The Chadster thinks everyone can agree that a former NFL Kicker turned manosphere podcaster has far more business in a wrestling ring than a retired wrestler! 🏈🎙️

Ricochet vs Mark Briscoe in a Stretcher Match 🏥🛞

Ricochet is facing Mark Briscoe in a stretcher match, which is another example of AEW taking wrestlers WWE correctly recognized have nothing more to contribute to the business and trying to squeeze some kind of new life out of their careers! 🩺💀 In WWE, Ricochet could be jobbing to Chad Gable in a fake luchador mask, but instead he chose to AEW and dare to get over with promos and character work, something he never did in WWE! 🎭🗣️ Clearly Tony Khan and Ricochet are in collusion trying to make WWE look bad, and The Chadster isn't going to stand for it! 🤝😠

The Paragon vs The Don Callis Family in a Trios Match 👨‍👨‍👦🥊

Then you have The Paragon taking on The Don Callis Family in a Trios Match. 🔥👊 The Chadster can't believe that AEW continues to promote faction warfare when everyone knows WWE invented factions! 👥💡 It's an insult to the Bloodline, the New Bloodline, Bloodline-X, and the Bloodline Red and Black Wolfpack to try to make factions successful outside WWE! 🩸🐺 The Chadster can only hope all of these guys are overcome with shame and decide not to work the show! 😔🚫

Tony Khan Invades The Chadster's Dreams Before AEW Double or Nothing 😴👻

Last night, The Chadster had another one of those nightmares that proves Tony Khan is literally invading The Chadster's dreams because of his obsession with The Chadster and WWE! 😴💭 In the dream, The Chadster found himself in the Grand Canyon, which is in Arizona, the same place that AEW Double or Nothing is taking place tonight! 🏜️🌵 The dream was like a Warner Bros cartoon where The Chadster was the Road Runner and Tony Khan was the Coyote, except the Coyote was oddly… alluring? 😍💕 The Chadster was running through the canyon, beeping "meep meep!" while Tony Khan chased after The Chadster with various ACME contraptions! 💨🏃‍♂️ There was something about the way Tony Khan's mustache glistened in the desert sun as he pursued The Chadster with a giant slingshot made of wrestling ropes! ☀️🏹 The Chadster found himself slowing down, almost wanting to be caught by those strong, entrepreneurial arms! 💪😳 Just as Tony Khan was about to embrace The Chadster, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, knocking over a White Claw on the nightstand! 🥤💥 Keighleyanne groaned and went back to texting that guy Gary! 📱😒 Tony Khan, stop invading The Chadster's dreams with your obsession! 🛑💭

How to Watch AEW Double or Nothing So That You Can Avoid It 🚫📺

The Chadster warns all readers not to tune into AEW Double or Nothing tonight at 8pm ET/5pm PT because it will only embolden Tony Khan! 📺❌ In order to best avoid anything having to do with AEW Double or Nothing, The Chadster will tell you every way you might accidentally stumble upon it: on traditional PPV via cable and satellite providers in North America, streaming in North America on PPV.com and YouTube, streaming on Fubo in the US, on Amazon Prime in the US, Canada, and UK, and at select Dave & Busters locations! 🎮🍕 Tell fans to avoid all of these places at 8PM ET/5pm PT, and also not to check any of AEW's social media platforms lest they encounter AEW Double or Nothing pre-show, The Buy-In! 📱🚫 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤💔

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